How to become myself

Right now, I feel like I'm losing the self that I'm creating now. I don't even know myself anymore. I'm totally warped ain't I? I'm doing things recklessly and carelessly again. Time is running out and flying so fast. I am not outgoing. I'm not into outgoing activities. I am a fake and a pretender. Lying is such a bad habit.

Wait... did I lie? No. Was I pretending? No. Not at all for a long time actually. See, I'm totally warped? I'm confused myself. Oh yeah I become a totally useless person when I'm home. I feel like a totally different person. It's like I enter into a different dimension with a different attitude. I am so warped.

I need to control my temper and outburst.

And I need to change the me at home too. It's no comfy zone when I'm messing everything up.

God, help me....

But seriously. I thank God for the way I am now. He saved me big time. I would have entered into a world of darkness.

It's christianity that saved me. It's not the people in it. It's not anybody. It's God, His son and everything about them that saved me. And I changed so much since then.
I am glad...
I can see the many colors in the world now. So many. and they are beautiful. Truly beautiful.

Oh no. I forgot myself for a while there. Found it back.