Only gray

Every exam period has always been a sad moment for me. But never had I imagine that a simple subject could put me down this much. R, your good luck pee didn't work.

And I have never been ever this disappointed in myself- Yes, I am utterly extremely wholly disappointed in myself.

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time. But then again, I could never imagine myself going through that hell that I've been through last year again.

This course is really wearing me out. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. Period.

Time and strength have are like my eternal enemies down to the core. More than these, the greatest enemy is myself. I wish I have photographic memory like Will Hunting's. I wish my brain could work and register faster like Albert Eistein's.

But I can't.

I lost myself.

God, what should I do?
I know I have to stand back up and start all over again once I got gunned down.
Time o time don't pull out something like this and leave me behind so fast.

There aren't colors anymore that I can see.

Only gray.